One Shake at a Time - Day 8: My Uncle Jim

There's something coming between us, I'm afraid. I'll bet you can imagine how difficult it is to say that to thousands of your loyal followers, especially those that stay up way past their bedtimes counting the minutes, all roly poly in their little nighties in front of the computer, painting their nails and reading past blogs just waiting for that facebook post to come along that says tonight's blog is ready. And then there's the silent majority, lonely, drunk and naked, ceaselessly smoking in their kitchens and staring at their iPads awaiting a word. Is it any surprise that they are silent, sitting there all sweaty, fat and naked in front of plates heaped with bacon, waiting for me to lead them to the land of clean livers. Imagine their disappointment when I tell them as I am now that something has come between us and I am going to leave them blubbering and hopeless on the cool vinyl of their kitchen floors staring at their refrigerators. Just be thankful that you're not one of them! Good God it's hard enough just knowing they're out there in towns all across our great nation gnawing on pork rinds and aluminum cans, pods of them gathered together all dressed as their favorite WWF wrestlers, reading MY blog to each other! Well I won't have it!

No, tonight I am being called to the fireside to read the latest Jim Harrison novel, The Great Leader. Uncle Jim, as we all call him around here, is the novelist who always has a painting by the great Russell Chatham on the covers of his books, which is as good a reason as any to read them. In truth, I was drawn to a novel of Uncle Jim's many years ago precisely because I was so moved by the painting on the cover. So moved that I took up painting myself (I was way past taking up writing at that point, having already been making my living at it for a couple of decades). At any rate, The Great Leader is calling me, and since I have had my two shakes and a couple of chicken sandwiches on rice/almond bread, and have been staring at this infernal monitor since 7AM, I am now gong to take my leave.