Sunday, January 15, 2012

One Shake at a Time - Day 7

Oh my dusty tallywhacker has it been a week already? Well then let's do what all the cool cats do on day 7 and take a break, I say. Take a break for a big ol' plate o' Pad Thai, or a grilled cheese sandwich, or, please, just a bowl of my yummy Wallabee yogurt and granola jammed chock full o' goodies. Make it two bowls!

Unlike the armies of wide-trackers that populate our country from approximately 50 miles inland of either coast, our diet was already pretty damn Marin County pure before we got on this cleanse jag several years ago. In fact, it started when we lived in Ridgefield, CT, in the East Coast version of Marin: Fairfield County. I can't remember how we got hooked up with the nutritionist in Mt. Kisco, NY, Dina Khader, but it was with her that we did our first cleanse and subsequent "blood type/food combining" diet. We each lost a ton of weight and felt like spry spring fawns and kept it up for quite some time until some major stress event came along and sent us reeling for the comfort food. And her cleanse was far more heinous than what we are doing now.

So what the hell are we doing now, you may be wondering after 6 days of senseless, pointless, mindless off-topic meandering through this blog. Well, it's simple:

Breakfast: a shake (consists of a cup of fruit, no bananas, a cup of feaux milk like hemp or almond, no soy, the magic powders, a little agave syrup and a dash of vanilla); a handful of mysterious supplements, in my case a little solid food like an apple to counteract some of the other shit I take for depression, pain, etc.

Lunch: usually a square meal minus all the obvious and some not so obvious toxic foods, like carrots (high sugar content). Could be brown rice, a chicken breast, some steamed veggies and a salad. This meal can be had at dinner time or lunch, just so long as you substitute a shake.

Dinner: a shake or a square meal depending on what happened at lunch

In between meals: any number of healthy snacks. The watchword is don't eat if you're not hungry, which is really hard when you stare at a computer monitor all day it's nice to do something with your hands besides type and jerk off. But for folks like us who were already shopping at the hippie market and eating all sorts of strange natural shit for years, this idea of wheat-free, gluten-free, non-dairy, sugar-free, caffiene-free, organic, free range, raw and sustainable is an old saw. Top that off with the sad fact that we both started Transcendental Meditation in our teens, like any native Marinite worth their Himalayan pink salt, doing a cleanse is quite second nature.

However, those of you who know me also know that I have been around the Marin music scene since high school and also know that the food is not the only thing that is pure and of the highest qualilty around here. And if you started with me back on day one of "One Shake at a Time" you know I've had my share of setbacks the last few years. I mean had I been a true wellness organic granola pivetta freak all these years I most likely would not have developed this gargantuan growth between my chest and belt buckle.

So I admit Day 7 has not been a real knee slapper - it's probably the "Sunday Sadness"that working stiffs get when they realize that Monday is unavoidable and chances are all the ninnies and cretins you were so relieved to take leave of on Friday will be there waiting for you at the office Monday morning. Plus you have that sneaking suspicion that there was something you needed to do over the weekend you start practicing your excuses before bed like "I had a wart on my tummy" and stuff like that. But once back in the absurdity of the corporate groove, usually by Tuesday, everything starts looking ridiculous again and I can start hummin the diddy and blogging like the hopelessly twisted phd in scatology that I truly deep down am! Plus we got two fun-filled weeks to go!

And by golly I know you're gonna wanna stay tuned for that!

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