Disneyland 1960

There was no DisneyWorld yet. Just The Land. That's what all the five year olds in Kentfield called it in 1960: The Land. "Dude, I'm headin' down to The Land tomorrow with my breeders". In those days people around here thought that Orlando, Florida was named after Giants first baseman Orlando Cepeda. Orlando Bloom the snotnosed little monkey fart wasn't even a glimmer in the eye of his breeders yet. But enough about Orlando we're talkin 'bout The Land!

Disneyland and I were both born in 1955, as were alot of things and people but few as important as The Land. As you can see from the pics even though The Land had been around for 5 years very few people knew about it in fact it was deserted most of the time. But my cousin Tom and I were hip to The Land before it was cool, long before the tourists showed up, and when the Indian dude in Frontier Village was a real Indian not a Mexican.

I gotta admit my memory of 1960 at The Land is a little dim, but then my Cousin Tom sent me these pics last night I started thinkin' about some of the goodle days, hangin' with Aunt Jemima, my Grandmother Hale, and I suppose our Moms (but not our Dads -- Dads in 1960 did not hang at The Land). My Cousin Tom lived in Santa Monica and we lived in Kentfield Gardens. Our sisters would have been too small to do The Land in 1960, but Tom and I were totally down with it, cruising the submarine rides several times a day and ogling the mermaids. It was great back in the day 'cuz nothing was fake - the mermaids, the Indian dude, the riverboat, the train, the monorail, Mickey, Minnie, The Mad Hatter, Alice, the crazy teetering rocks that were about to fall on the mining cars, the mountain goats on the Matterhorn, the SNOW on the Matterhorn, hippos, elephants and crocs on the Jungle Cruise, the giant clam on the submarine ride - all that shit was real! You could actually reach out and touch it! Yeah it was a little rugged when there was a shootout in FrontierLand and they killed a guy. But I suppose he actually was trying to rob that saloon so he got what was comin' to him.

There was no Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Space Mountain, not that the new stuff wasn't cool but I'm talkin' about the genuine, original Land where Davey Crockett himself was hanging out and all these Indians too but it was cool they got along just fine.

Then DisneyWorld came along and wrecked The Land 'cuz all the people wanted to hit The World, they didn't even know about the little 'ol Land, the real true Magic Kingdom. Yeah The Land in 1960 had it goin' on. I wish I could go back but it's gone: 1960, that toe-headed five year old and his cousin, Grandmother Hale, whoever was taking those pictures, the submarine ride, the mining ride, the real Indians, Davey Crockett, Aunt Jemima, all gone.


I'm not sayin' Disneyland today isn't still the happiest place on earth. I'm just sayin' it's not The Land anymore. Ya know?

 

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