Friday, July 6, 2012
And Now a Word From SOCK MONKEY!
Jeez I'm tellin' ya it's about time I got a little airtime in this goddamn limbo circus. Limboland! What the hell is that, anyway? Does anybody even know what the limbo is these days? I don't know about you but I went to Catholic school and if there's one place you do NOT wanna go when you die it's Limbo! There ya are, stuck between heaven and hell, ya can't hang out with those pretty little angels, ya can't hang out with those nasty little hotties, ya can't drink, ya can't get laid, ya can't even eat a goddamn banana! No when you're in Limbo, you're fucked, lemme tell ya. So, who the hell wants to go to Limboland, fer chrissakes? Well, I guess that's just what you expect from old shit for brains - somethin' stupid. Gump says stupid is as stupid does well I give to you Limboland. Huh? How's that for fuckin' stupid!?
Speakin' of stupid, how about this social networkin' business? I was workin in the office the other day, tryin' to put together a major deal with a banana distributor down in Costa Rica - let's just say he knows how to grow one good banana. Anyway I had been workin' on this deal all week, calculating ROI and running the SWOT analysis and all that business horseshit, when I just had to take a break. But the boss was breathin' down my neck, so after I see him sneak into the broom closet with this cute little howler - he's a big old ape but all the girls love him around here, and it's really not too hard to tell why, us monkeys being all naked and shit most of the time. Anyway I see 'em sneak in there and pretty soon the little howler monkey is howlin' away so I figure hey, why not try some of this social networking everybody's been yammerin' about? Well why yammer about it when you can just watch the video? So...go on!
I apologize Limbolanders it's been a rough evening. Tonight I had just sat down to fill everybody in on the latest exploits of the Lap Wiggler and my little Ponjabbee Poontang, who by the way has a BIZ for Major Martha Davis, who is about as much of a Martha as I am a Lil' Debbie (even though that's what Sando Man Jerry Sandusky used to call me back in "shower for an hour and you'll feel my power" days). Just as I am getting all soaped up who waltzes in but Sock Monkey, all drunk and belligerent. Well, you have now seen for yourself what that little sumbitch can do when he gets a few banana daiquiris under his belt.
Again, my apologies. I won't let it happen again.
Oh. The blog pundits are saying I should ask for your comments, though I'm not sure what there is to comment on, unless of course you've heard from the Lap Dingler, Asha, Major Martha, Pastor Kelvin or any of that gang lately and would like to share it with the fan club here.
Or perhaps you have some advice for dealing with an obnoxious, beer-guzzlin' Sock Monkey who likes to butt in on your blogs. I'm sure all the little Limbolanders would be thankful for that!!