The fact that I have not been asked to make myself scarce that day and vacate Sleepy Hollow altogether can probably be attributed to a couple of things.
1. The conference organizers have beefed up security such that none of the misogynist philanderers that find more to like in a Fender guitar than they do in most human beings, and whom I often share a stage with, won't be able to get anywhere near the place. Most of these fellas have yet to get in touch with their feminine side.
2. I've lost my touch and, try as I might, I just don't have the heart to be the rude, offensive, mean-spirited skeptic that I've worked so hard all these years become. Maybe it's the Sunday morning armchair Buddhism, or perhaps the warnings about the blood pressure and cholesterol, but I can tell you from experience it's tough to be a prick when you don't eat any red meat and find yourself pausing now and then to appreciate the profound flying skills of the hummingbird.
So last night I softly suggested that these girls, regardless of the degree of Spice in their lives, have probably never participated in a grown up conference before and probably have very little idea that it consists of a bunch of women, many of whom look a lot like mom, talking. Sure there might be some gesticulating, a dance step perhaps here and there, interesting powerpoint slides, but for the most part it will be talking. That's why they call it a conference. But, to make sure the girls would at least show up with an open mind, we've told them that the conference is about teenage vampires.
Here's the press release that went out to the adults:
San Domenico hosts Women's PowerStrategy (a new word, check Webster's) Conference, March 24
The day-long event, presented by Sleepy Hollow resident, Patricia V. Davis, is a gathering of leaders from diverse backgrounds and areas of expertise who are joining forces to educate and inspire women of all ages to believe and invest in their own talents, skills and potential. Speakers include: Malissa Shriver; A Band of Wives founder Christine Bronstein; Marin Magazine Executive editor Mimi Towle; and Red Room CEO Ivory Madison. For registration and event info, visit womenspowerstrategyconference.com.
(I guess u noticed I wasn't included in the highlights, nor were any of my male counterparts. Like I've said you really gotta be in touch with your own femininity to roll with this crowd, and that means stepping aside and letting the ladies do their thing. )
So, if you think that little blurb might sound boring to a 14-year old girl (I don't know why it would but having had a 14 year old girl living with me not that long ago, the description just doesn't sound like a whole big barrel of monkeys.) SO - TOMORROW I WILL SHARE WITH YOU WHAT WE'VE TOLD THE GIRLS ABOUT THE CONFERENCE. YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE TEENAGE VAMPIRES AND STUFF. SO BE SURE TO TELL A FRIEND ABOUT TOMORROW'S EPISODE and in the meantime: