Sunday, March 18, 2012

NEWS UPDATE: Ducks Delay Debut of Droll Drama

San Ansmello - A flock of unruly Bufflehead ducks has disrupted the release schedule of publisher Beak Books entire spring list, delaying publication, originally scheduled for May 2012, until June. "I've seen a lot of ducks in my day", noted president Amanda Huginkiss, "but I've never seen ducks quite this devious." The delay will affect the debut of novelist Jeb Harrison's comic double-crosser, "HACK".

The Bufflehead ducks are known to be particularly dastardly. They are not the most intelligent ducks in the pond, hence their somewhat disrespectful name, but they generally follow the rules. This flock of Buffleheads, who for generations have hailed from the mudflats behind the old Greenbrae Lanes bowling alley which has always been considered the low rent district for Marin County ducks, has proven to be both dimwitted and just plain dumb, and as a result it is virtually impossible to get them lined up in a row. "No publisher is going to release books if they don't have their ducks lined up, and with these Buffleheads, it's like herding cats," Huginkiss remarked. The ducks are responsible for the creation of the hardback, the paperback, the ebooks in all their various formats, and the audio books.It is ideal for the book to be ready in all it's formats on the release date, hence the dependence on the ducks.

 Not only is the rather dubious behavior of the delirious ducks deemed destructive, but, according to Huginkiss, "they're just being dicks." That makes it all the more difficult to direct the ducks into an acceptable design where they are neatly lined up one after the other like Ping the Chinese Duck who got spanked for not being in line. But, we digress.

"It's a drag when the ducks are being dicks because you just don't want to deal with a dickhead duck", Huginkiss said. So until the douchebag ducks get their doo doo together, we'll just have to wait until June!

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