Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The New Good Earth (Where Have All the Hippies Gone?)

I went to the new Good Earth tonight
My tummy rejoiced at the glorious sight
Clean and well-lighted, a connoisseur’s dream
With custom made pizzas and organic ice cream
I think that the whole town of Fairfax was there
Grumbling and moaning, the usual fare
The store is so spacious it would be hard to smell
The pot and patchoulie that we all love so well
I noticed a gray haired man in a frock
Who rode in on a fat tire from Spirit Rock
He was pointing at light fixtures, warning his mate
The fluorescents would no doubt poison all that they ate
The aisles were broad as a fine thoroughfare
The shelves all packed with the same lovely fare
Gluten free this and wheat free that
Dairy free milk and sugar free fat

Organic soy bacon and cayenne foot powder
Crunchy green kale chips and coconut water
And though it was crowded there was never a panic
For at the Good Earth, all is organic!

 I paused by the apples, counting the species
When a fella walked by who smelled like fresh feces
And employee walked up with his pan and his broom
And directed the stinky one out of the room
“This isn’t the old days” he said in a snit
“You can’t just walk in here smelling like shit”
And so the old regular with the thousand yard gaze
Went out to his bench, where he sat in a daze

We got in the checkout line, our bag at the ready
Our checker looked frazzled, bug-eyed and sweaty
“There must be ten thousand people in here!
Oh what I wouldn’t give for a bong and a beer!”

She tallied our groceries and rang up the tab
The usual two hundred dollars a bag
And as we departed, I saw Shivad on the bench
Picking his teeth with a hammer and wrench

He stared at the parking lot, scratching his itches
Gawking in wonder at all the crossfit bitches
“It doesn’t seem right” he said soft and low,
Where is a ratty old hippie to go?”

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