The New Good Earth (Where Have All the Hippies Gone?)

I went to the new Good Earth tonight

My tummy rejoiced at the glorious sight

Clean and well-lighted, a connoisseur’s dream

With custom made pizzas and organic ice cream

 

I think that the whole town of Fairfax was there

Grumbling and moaning, the usual fare

The store is so spacious it would be hard to smell

The pot and patchoulie that we all love so well

 

I noticed a gray haired man in a frock

Who rode in on a fat tire from Spirit Rock

He was pointing at light fixtures, warning his mate

The fluorescents would no doubt poison all that they ate

 

The aisles were broad as a fine thoroughfare

The shelves all packed with the same lovely fare

Gluten free this and wheat free that

Dairy free milk and sugar free fat

Organic soy bacon and cayenne foot powder

Crunchy green kale chips and coconut water

And though it was crowded there was never a panic

For at the Good Earth, all is organic!

 

 I paused by the apples, counting the species

When a fella walked by who smelled like fresh feces

And employee walked up with his pan and his broom

And directed the stinky one out of the room

“This isn’t the old days” he said in a snit

“You can’t just walk in here smelling like shit”

And so the old regular with the thousand yard gaze

Went out to his bench, where he sat in a daze

We got in the checkout line, our bag at the ready

Our checker looked frazzled, bug-eyed and sweaty

“There must be ten thousand people in here!

Oh what I wouldn’t give for a bong and a beer!”

She tallied our groceries and rang up the tab

The usual two hundred dollars a bag

And as we departed, I saw Shivad on the bench

Picking his teeth with a hammer and wrench

He stared at the parking lot, scratching his itches

Gawking in wonder at all the crossfit bitches

“It doesn’t seem right” he said soft and low,

Where is a ratty old hippie to go?”